When Dimensions Collide

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A few weeks ago the husband and I went to all the baby stores and made our baby registeries. One of the stores we made one at is Target.

I don’t have a very common last name. So, I didn’t worry too much about the registry getting mixed up with someone elses. Just in case though, I put my husband’s name on it as well. 

By some weird twist of fate there is another Allie with the same last name as myself who is also married to a Daniel. I guess our dimension has touched another and now that other dimension me is having a baby too and wanted people to buy her stuff from target. My other dimension me and I have a lot in common it appears.

So, Saturday when Daniel and I went to collect things off our list and use our coupon we were shocked to find that a lot of the stuff on our list was gone. At first, I thought maybe it was a glitch. I know that no one has bought crap off that list. The stuff should still of been listed.

So, back to the kiosk we go. This time I looked up our registry by name instead of email. I was shocked to see that there were two Allie and Daniels. Two. Same last name. I viewed theirs. They are also having a girl. I looked at Daniel and said “what sorcery is this”?

This sucked on many counts. One being that we had to go through the store and rescan all the crap we wanted to buy so it would be eligible for the discount.  Two being that target uses what’s essentially an iPhone for its registry scanning. That sucker is slow as Christmas. Three being that the other Allie and Daniel must have lots of people who love them and bought them stuff. The other me must be very popular.

What should have been a simple in and out was a two hour long scan and wait-athon.

By the time we were finally ready to buy our stuff Mason had absolutely had enough. The lines of course were long and the child in my womb was trying to claw her way out. Or at least that’s how it felt.

We finally get to the register and of course our cashier looks like she’s smoked crack for at least half her life and is not in a pleasant mood. She tells us all about how she is missing some family members birthday party and on and on.

The child in my womb got even more vigilant with her clawing my uterus routine and I wanted nothing more than to just sit the hell down and go home. I swear I just wanted to yell at that lady to hush the crap up and get us out of there.

We finally made it to the truck. Of course, traffic was horrible. It took us forever to get on the highway and head home. About halfway there, captain Mason informs us that he is hungry.  I swear I just wanted to cry. We stopped and got some food and finally got home.

Of course the second I get out of the truck the child in my womb decides to ninja kick my bladder and I peed. I peed on my damn self. I slumped my shoulders in defeat and took a shower.

Oh, and Mason pooped in the tub tonight …again …twice.

If that’s not an eventful weekend, I don’t want to know what is.

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