Nasty Comments & Crazy People

 

       I would say that this must be the week of the crazies but honestly I seem to draw a fair amount of them most of the time. Usually the nasty comments are mostly on Twitter but it seems they’ve migrated to my blog. Damn it Yay! 

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Wondering why you haven’t seen them? BAN HAMMERED those bastards I don’t approve nasty comments. If you just disagree with me on a book or a subject I won’t censor your comment but if it’s advocating violence or you cussing me out….yeah, I’m probably not going to let it post. 

           I got one the other day on my post about Oklahoma Turnpikes from forever ago (way to creep my page weirdo) that called me a bitch and told me if I didn’t like how things worked I should start ‘slaughtering politicians’…… Uhm…. holy shit this guy has lost his fucking mind Wow that guy is unhinged. I do not now or ever suggest that anyone “slaughters” anyone else….ever. He went from 0 to ape shit immediately.  Calm the heck down bro! Take a chill pill ( do people still say that?). I’d rather just vote out politicians whose policies I don’t agree with. Killing them is a bit harsh…I mean…if I killed every person I didn’t agree with….there wouldn’t be many people left. Plus, I’m a lover not a fighter. Peace is an actual solution people. Oh, and as of now, I’m still legally allowed to complain when politicians do stuff I don’t like. So, I think I’ll raise my voice and not a weapon because murder is a big fucking deal and I’m not about to take someone’s life over the dollar or so I have to pay to drive on a road. I mean, get perspective. 

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As if that wasn’t crazy enough, I’ve received about 20 emails from some guy pervert  asking me to review his graphic erotic novel……NO means NO fella. Just….read my damn review policy and these types of crazy situations won’t happen. When I said no he got his panties in a bunch upset and said it’s my fault his book can’t get any reviews…..dude, I’m not responsible for what other reviewers are telling you. 

To top all of that off, when I was mowing my backyard yesterday a rabid probably rabies infested tiny mouse ran up my BARE LEG till he got to the edge of my shorts and ran back down and away. So, I’m probably going to die thankful he didn’t decide inside my shorts looked like a path he wanted to take. 

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Oh, and I found a dead mole on my doorstep this morning. So, yeah. Good times.

 

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“Growth and Change are Highly Overrated” by Tom Starita

Growth and Change Are Highly Overrated is a classic coming-of-age story that takes a unique and comic look at what we all fear— having to grow up and abandon our dreams.

For a charismatic man like Lucas James, life is a breeze because everyone else provides the wind. This man-child front man for a mediocre cover band has been mooching off of his fiancée Jackie for years until she finally decides she’s had enough. Faced with the reality of having no income to support his carefree lifestyle, Lucas James abandons his principles and gets a job working in the stockroom at, “That Store.” How does he cope with this new found sense of responsibility?

He casually steals…

In a life spent bucking authority how will Lucas James deal with his manager, ‘Victor the Dictator’? How long can he survive Ralph, a starry-eyed coworker who desires nothing more than to be best friends? Will Lori, a twenty-something cashier, be like everyone else and fall for his charms? Will he ever find a place to live? And is “growing up” just another way of saying “selling out?”

With this hilarious and engaging novel, author Tom Starita perfectly captures a character we have all met and perhaps some of us know all too well.

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I’m going to start this off by being honest and admit that it’s been a week since I finished reading this book. I was way too emotional after I finished to write a fair review. This is one of those few times where not only do I not particularly like the main character, I loathe him. I may even hate Lucas James. However, not being fond of the main character and reviewing a book do not go hand in hand. Just because I didn’t like the main character doesn’t mean the book itself was bad. Lucas James is a grade A jerkface but the fact I’m feeling such strong distaste for a fictional character let me know I needed space from the story to think it through. 

Starita’s writing is introspective and thought provoking at times and others a bit long winded. I enjoyed the introspection but at times there was so much of it that I found myself annoyed and side tracked from the meat of the story. My advice is to cut down on some of Lucas James’ rants and avoid drawing your reader so far from the core story.

I’m all for deep thinking characters but Lucas James’ rants tend to be more of a self validation tirade than philosophical. 

Jackie is another character that I down right do not like. I don’t like how she handled the break up and I don’t like how she handled herself during the relationship. She was an enabler and proceeded to throw a fit about the consequences of her enabling. 

Come to think of it, the only character I like is Ralph. He’s the only one who had any redeeming qualities left. I don’t like how he is treated by literally everyone and I don’t like how unappreciative Lucas James is of Ralph’s friendship. 

To me, this story is about a selfish man-child who refuses to grow up and uses his “dream” of becoming a “rock god” as an excuse to use people. If he really wanted to gain any ground in the music world, taking 548,965,943,207,504,827 naps and putting in minimal to no effort does not a musician make and I don’t think he actually wants to hit it big.

Another issue I have is that there is no real climax or conclusion. Lucas James is the same asshole he started out as. He’s gained no ground and has not evolved into anything else. There’s no real plot line and that needs to be addressed ASAP. I don’t get what the story is about other than Lucas treating everyone like crap and getting away with it.

Overall, I think this story needs some editing and another look at what the purpose of the story is supposed to be. Remove some of the long winded rants and really look at what is trying to be said.

3 stars.

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The Technical Data:

Title: Growth and Change are Highly Overrated | Series: N/A |  Author(s): Tom Starita  |Publisher: Amazon Digital Services / Publication Date: 12-15-2016 |Pages: 234 (Print) | ISBN:  B01N2SW2K8 |Genre(s): General Humor |Language: English |Rating: 3 out of 5 |  Date Read: 7-20-2017 |Source: Copy from author.

“That Book I Wrote About Me” by Sarah Buchanan

After three ex-husbands, two successful novels, and one disastrous book she’d rather forget ever having written, Fiona Fields has hit a wall. Days once filled with critics gushing over her latest masterpiece have given way to endless hours spent lying on her living room floor in Lakeview Valley, the tiny North Carolina mountain town of her youth, and staring at her ceiling. 

But after Fiona’s agent calls with an opportunity intended to drag her back into the land of the living, Fiona finds herself inspired by her ex-step-daughter, Karen, and she’s soon off and running with a brand new idea for a book and a brand new lease on life (sort of).

What Fiona doesn’t anticipate is long-buried family secrets revealing themselves and threatening to upend her newfound momentum. As she struggles to make sense of revelations about the life she thought she knew, Fiona will find that the past often shows up in the present in very unexpected ways, and that, try as she might, she’s not exempt from the 215-year-old Lakeview tradition of long-forgotten secrets coming to light in spectacular fashion.

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Sarah Buchanan’s debut novel “That Book I Wrote About Me” is bursting at the seams with classic small time charm, beautifully flawed characters and a story that will make you wish Fiona were your best friend.

Fiona has been through a lot but she always rises above. It may not be without some pushing and shoving but nothing keeps Fiona down long. She’s strong, but not so much in your face about it. She makes mistakes. Drunken, hilariously awkward mistakes…..but her oopsies make her all the more lovable since she really means no harm in her blunders. She’s real and honest and raw. Unlike her mother and the stereotypical small town woman, Fiona lets the world see who she really is. She doesn’t hide the proverbial crazy.

My favorite thing about Fiona is her golden heart. Those she loves, she loves hard. Ex-husbands, ex-step daughters….everyone. She genuinely gives a crap about their lives. Even when, by all rights she could walk away completely. She’s that ex that becomes the friend that made you fall in love with her to begin with.

There is a part of the book where Fiona tapes up a picture of her first ex that sticks in my mind. First loves are a whirlwind of emotion that lingers no matter how things end. Probably more so when there’s no real closure. Watching Fiona comb through her past and work through old hurts really resonated with me. We’ve all thought “What if”. We’ve all sifted through our past with plenty of cringes and a boat load of sighs. Experiencing those alongside Fiona was therapeutic in a way books like this usually aren’t. I think it was the authenticity of Fiona’s character. It was the authenticity of her resentment and bitterness. It was the healing and forgiving of everyone…..especially herself. It takes a lot of bravery to analyze yourself and admit that you messed up. Especially when your mistakes cause other people more pain than you initially thought it would and you find yourself face to face with the consequences others are facing from your blunder. Fiona faces this with as much grace as a hang over will allow but she means what she says and that right there is enough to make you love her. Apologies are just words unless you can really see that the person who messed up is filled with regret and remorse.

To see such strong work from a new author is exciting to say the least. What’s more exciting is “That Book I Wrote About Me” is the first novel in the “Lakeview Valley” series. Buchanan hooked me with this book and I am staying on the line to find out what’s next for our bumbling Fiona as well as the whole of Lakeview. I strongly recommend you hop on the hook and join me.

5 stars!

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The Technical Data:

Title: That Book I Wrote About Me | Series: Lakeview Valley |  Author(s): Sarah Buchanan  |Publisher: Amazon Digital Services / Publication Date: 6-9-2017 |Pages: 234 (Print) | ISBN:  B071PBSMNP |Genre(s): Contemporary / Women’s Fiction |Language: English |Rating: 5 out of 5 |  Date Read: 7-14-2017 |Source: Copy from author.

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Book Spotlight “The Junkyard Capital” Jak Locke

Senator Aphid only wanted to improve his country, though after four years in the District of Laws he really should have known better. He’s removed from office and soon grudgingly finds himself paired with Frog Dell, the reckless and self-indulgent hermit of the junkyard. As the two evade the wrath of a government run amok with corruption, dissension spreads through the public, and conspiracy reigns. What role does psychiatrist and part-time inventor Weasel McKenzie play in the upcoming Archministry election? How does front-runner candidate and acclaimed playwright J. Thomas Capra plan to fix the broken nation? Who’s being stalked by merciless bounty hunter Jack Dingo? Why is Dead Fish wandering an empty version of the world? The pressure escalates quickly in this twisting, zany, fast-paced and subversive satire that, like real politics, requires (and prefers) absolutely no prior political knowledge. NOTE: This book is the heavily revised second edition of the now out-of-print book Frog Dell’s Junkyard.

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About The Author

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Jak Locke is an entertainer, filmmaker, and programmer obsessed with exploring every form of expression. The Junkyard Capital is his first book and gives his degree in political science some relevance to his life for once. He is a lifelong New Orleans area resident.

 

Guest Post- Steven Scaffardi “Soundtrack For The Flood”

Steven Scaffardi is the author of the Sex, Love and Dating Disaster series. His first novel, The Drought, is the laugh-out-loud tale of one man’s quest to overcome the throes of a sexual drought. After the stormy break-up with his girlfriend of three years, Dan Hilles is faced with the daunting task of throwing himself back into the life of a single man. With the help of his three best pals, Dan is desperate and determined to get his leg-over with hilarious consequences!

 The Drought and his new novel The Flood – a comedy about one man trying to juggle four women at the same time – are both available for just 99p on the Kindle at Amazon.

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Follow all of the fun on his blog tour by following him on Twitter @SteveScaffardi or by using the hashtag #LadLitBlogTour. More information about Steven and his books can be found on his blog.

 

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Soundtrack for The Flood

 

Yesterday the Lad Lit Blog Tour was at the Food For Bookworms blog where I explained that over the last six weeks, a few bloggers had asked me about my writing habits. I have mentioned previously that music plays a big part in coming up with ideas, and I normally try to create a soundtrack for my books.

Yesterday I revealed five of the songs that made the playlist for The Drought, and today at Allie’s Opinions I wanted to tell you about five songs that inspired me to write certain chapters and storylines in my new book, The Flood.

 This is an exclusive for Allie’s Opinion’s as I have not written or said this list out loud to anyone else before!

 

  1. The Flood by Take That

This is probably an obvious one! The title of the book is The Flood, and this Take That song has the same name too. It’s not rocket science! But there is a little bit more to it than just that. As you might remember, this was the first song Take That had done as a five piece for a long time. In The Flood, Dan and his three best friends (Rob, Jack and Ollie) have a new member, Ieuan, join their gang. In a way, that made this song a little more relevant.

  1. In The Air Tonight by Phil Collins

Jack has a bit of an unhealthy obsession with quoting Phil Collins songs throughout the book, although he refers to the former Genesis man as Filth Collins. In the scene where Dan sees Grace again for the first time, Jack uses the lyrics of In The Air Tonight to encourage Dan to make his move, even playing air drums to that famous drum solo from the song. Another Collins number that plays a part in the book comes at the end, when Jack puts Sussudio on the radio.

 

  1. She’s Out Of My Life by Michael Jackson

One of the main themes throughout the book is Dan’s head and heart going back and forth over Kelly. He can’t seem to make up his mind whether she is the one or not. There is a scene where Dan is trying to explain his feelings to his friends in the pub, and like any group of male mates, instead of taking his words seriously, they decide to take the micky and break out into this Michael Jackson classic.

 

  1. It Wasn’t Me by Shaggy

At the heart of the story is a drunken bet Dan makes with his best friends that he is capable of dating multiple girls at the same time. Of course, Dan is completely out of his depth, and the fact that he ends up dating a stalker, his crazy ex-girlfriend, the office ice queen, and the one that got away, makes things all the more difficult. As Dan tries to keep the four girls from finding out from each other, this song became the perfect anthem.

 

  1. Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now by Starship

One of the earliest reviews for The Flood came from author Clint Forgy who said: “Funniest bar fight scene in the history of literature. I laughed so hard I woke up my snoring girlfriend.” The scene he is referring to is a chapter where the boys end up in a bar in Nottingham and get themselves into a spot of bother. I won’t give anything away, but this song plays a big part in the bar fight scene…

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WTF Medical Billing

Last year I had the audacity to have a baby at a *gasp* hospital.  This, I think, is where I f*cked up.

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Like a good little mommy to be I did everything the way I was supposed to do it. I saw a midwife from the very beginning of the pregnancy. I went to every single scheduled visit. I peed in a cup when they asked and drank that god awful orange crap to test for diabetes. I offered up my flesh to the blood sucking syringe without complaint.

I paid the midwife fees and my insurance deductible months before the baby was born.

This whole thing should have been smooth sailing.

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Not surprisingly, because this is America, literally everything that could go wrong went really….REALLY wrong.

 About a month after my daughter was born we started receiving these ridiculous bills. Some of the bills were for services and (WTF) surgeries that weren’t performed.

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After 5 MONTHS of sending fax after fax, calling 506,444 different offices, being told we had a credit of 1,300 dollars and then being told we owed 2,500 dollars, we finally narrowed down the problem.

This may get confusing.

The midwifes office required us to pay our entire deductible as well as their office fees upfront to their office.

We did that, as asked.

The midwife’s office and the hospital although owned by the same company are different entities of the company that don’t cross.  This means that while in the hospital you get billed for the use of equipment and supplies from one place and the actual doctors and nurses from another.

The Midwives office kept all of the money.

Instead of taking their part out and sending the rest in as our deductible ( like they should have ) they took their share and just left the money in my “account” floating in limbo as some kind of a “credit”.

Now, I’m having to convince the refund office to refund my money so I can pay the damn hospital.

You heard that right, I have to CONVINCE them to return my own money.

I still don’t have it.

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Hubby Wednesday’s “Thou Shall Not Eat Baby Formula Powder”

Here at the Sumner house we have been missing out on a load of sleep. We have this situation called…Living With A Newborn.

This particular princess wants to eat on average every 45 mins to an hour. ALL DAY LONG. My boobs just can’t keep up. So, we are having to supplement with formula.

Now that you have this knowledge I’ll regale you with a tale most humorous ( and not the bone).


 

It was Daniel’s shift for Princess duty. 

Fianna woke up and was hangry. For those of you not accustomed to the slang of america’s youth…that means hungry and angry. FYI.

She was squalling her tiny baby lungs out.

Daniel in his semi awake state was in the kitchen attempting to make a bottle to appease princess Fianna.

Daniel likes to work out. He is BUFF. ( I’m his wife, I can brag lol) So, those tiny scoopers are no stranger to him.

In his very sleep deprived state he automatically puts the scooper full of formula IN HIS MOUTH. His MOUTH people. Straight powder.

This is about the time my sweet husband realized the extreme folly of his actions. This is when instant re-fucking-gret hit my poor hubs.

THAT CRAP IS NASTY!

As he was becoming more human than sleep zombie he tried to decide if swallowing or walking to the sink was going to be worse. He chose to spit.

Take that as you will.

Thus we have the story of a poor sleep deprived man just trying to take get some foods for his tiny daughter. Life is rough man. Life is rough.